Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
