I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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