I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize
