My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
A bitchslap is in order.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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