I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Shame is for Republicans.
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