All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
