Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize