my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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