new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
