the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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