Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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