Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
