you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My butt remains clenched, sir.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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