So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
