I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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