they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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