We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
