I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
