I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
