My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
