So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
