Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Send help, water and tortillas.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
