She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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