So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
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