So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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