I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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