I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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