another moral hangover. fuck.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
