I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
