woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
