I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
