but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
