he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
