Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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