if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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