just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
