Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
