youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
