I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
