Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
