have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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