All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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