Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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