I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
