Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
im about as happy as oj after his trial
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
