We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
