My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
This baby is an asshole
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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