Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
