Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
