Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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